Monday, June 18, 2007

when masochism is the cure to a heart ache and pathetic rantings

like that ever works.

i seem to have a knack for causing self-inflicted, unnecessary hurts. and because i manage to successfully accomplish the inane, i suppose i'm the only one who can cure the pain [did i just rhyme?]. i would definitely prescribe masochism, for reasons beyond me. because as i wallow and expose my super self to kryptonite, i feel inadequate and less proud. the moment i am left a helpless heap of brokenness, then i come to acknowledge a greater power. that which i neglect on happier times.

when it comes down to stripping, the Lord really knows how to deal. hay. why does the palo have to be so hard? but after all the drama, thanks to His sovereignty and grace, everything turns out just fine.

like a weird habit, i scratch irritations until they bleed so i'd stop scratching. bleeding, as the goo goo dolls expertly expressed, makes you know you're alive.

::::::: (",) :::::::
heart aches. an ancient phenomenon all mortals know. here i thought i was a diyosa. somebody please take me back to my fairytale.

maybe that's really the problem. i live in a disney world and never outgrew the magical promise of a utopian existence. where princes do the bidding to win a fair lady; where ogres are the bad guys; where there is sunshine 24/7 and rainbows and pixie dust.

oh. don't get me wrong. i WILL always be a disney baby. and thrive on happy thoughts and perrywinkle vibes. yey! :D

::::::: (",) :::::::
you know what? i don't even know what i'm being so pathetic about. hahahaha.

16 comments:

romina aiza de silva said...

why naman kasi? ah, kun sabagay, i kno adik ka din

romina aiza de silva said...

uy joke lang ha

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

haha. ayos lang yan. im boung to get over whatever i'm feeling. i always bounce back coz im like tigger. haha

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

*bound
denget.

romina aiza de silva said...

gagayahin ko na lang ang sinasabi sa grace before meals nila madeline...
"we love our bread, we love our butter but most of all, we love each other."

tint mijares said...

hi xai. after reading this, i suddenly feel a lot better. thank you for putting whatever it is you're feeling and for some weird reason, it resonated with something in me. wahahaha. my sentiments exactly. i love you!

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

hey ate tint! did you see the moon last night? that was me smiling at you.said a little prayer for you. :D i love you too. :)

romina aiza de silva said...

xai... i wasnt able to see the moon last night... but the stars fell down on me. **wink**

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

erm, what stars? di ko gets. haha. :D
ang pretty pretty nung moon tas may three stars na naka-align. *swoon*

romina aiza de silva said...

stars, as in twinkle, twinkle little stars... literally stars... figuratively fell... i cried kasi when i didnt see the moon. i looked up, and there were the stars... ayun...

pie pineda said...

hey gawjus, inhale, exhale, chill, smile.

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

that's better. :D stars are so nice!

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

i wanted to pie. hay. i spent all night crying. woke up in the middle of the night in sobs. but i'm okay now. i mean, chhh, there are better things to think about. :)

pie pineda said...

my dear fantabulous super friend.. hay, it's never really easy right? **millionhugs&kisses**

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

kung lahat madali, walang challenge. yeahbah. i think i can live with being challenged. :) *millionhugsandkissesback*

pie pineda said...

that's the diyosa spirit!