yes yes josiah's the best!

random green moments. yeah yeah, ignore the green. haha.

let the tears flow then wipe from the cheeks

hanggang ngayon tinatanong ko pa rin kung bakit kailangan magpakasal ang mga taong nagmamahalan at gustong bumuo ng pamilya.

may naisip na akong tanungin. noong bata pa ako, may mga bagay na siya lang nakakapag explain ng medyo natatanggap ko. gaya ng kung bakit hindi demonic ang eraserheads o kaya kung bakit ang mga kulto ay hindi katanggap tanggap. yung mga sa totoong buhay eh mababaw na tanong pero nabibigyan niya ng lalim. kasi may laman naman talaga.

kaya lang kinuha na siya ng Lord kagabi. hindi ko alam kung paano magreact. kasi alam kong siya lang makakasagot ng tanong ko sa ngayon.

wala na yung senior pastor namin. wala na si tito bob.

madaya. nandun na siya sa gusto kong puntahan. madaya talaga. hindi man lang nasagot yung tanong ko. sayang kasi siya pa naman yung magkakasal sakin. pero di pa rin nasasagot yung tanong ko.

hi kuya bob, salamat sa pagpapalaki ng maayos sa mga magulang ko. salamat sa votes of confidence [kareees, nakakatuwa ka talaga magsalita noh, kuhang kuha mo yung audience noh; kareees, ang ganda ganda talaga ng boses mo, maglead ka na ng praise and worship; kareees, magmember ka na sa church; karees, para ka talagang mommy mo napakalambing hehehehe].

salamat din po pala for suggesting to name me xaris. pa-autograph kay cs lewis ah pag nagkita kayo jan. pa-apir na rin kay paul, bilib ako dun eh. rock on tito bob, rock on. :)

You've raised them well tito bob. :)

i turned phlegmatic overnight.

of all the days to be "normal" i had to pick yesterday. the imossible has happened. the xaris partied in *gasp* her uniform *squirms* at the wedding essentials dinner party at the rockwell tent. geez. i was there in shocking green while the rest of the industry was in their party clothes which don't even compare to my xaris-normal days. where were my four inch heels and vintage ensembles when i needed them?? why does it always rain on me? why? why rockwell why?

on the plus side [depends how you look at it], i found out that i was actually working for one of the top wedding suppliers in the country. hah, talk about downsizing my area of work. i had no idea. but it all dawned on me last night *hallelujah chorus*  yes yes josiah's  the best!

it was a bit shocking too to find out that my boss practically knows everyone at the party, making beso after every five steps, to some soshalera-ever and half the party hall. oh rawr. so that's what PR is about. it was funny, actually becauce ma'am jet has always been "just ninang jet" all my life when she is in fact a biggie in the wedding industry.

funny too how i realized i am anti-social after all contrary to previous claims. last night got me thinking whether stardom really is for me. so now, i resolve to strut my stuff no matter what it takes. hah. that's the spirit!

i now come to the conclusion that this is not yet the time for my star to shine. there are a lot more stardust to collect. but but but that doesn't have to mean i will never glimmer. believe me, i will. consider this a training ground, i always say.

tomorrow i will be sanguine again.

because i was tagged

Each player of this game starts off by making a weblog post, listing ten(10) weird things/habits or little known facts about himself/herself, then tagging six (6) other bloggers to do the same. no tag backs.

okay here goes...
1. i used to play basketball and wanted to be a pro. i was really young then, prolly around seven or eight. when all my peers opted to play with dolls, i shot hoops with my kuya on a self-made basketball ring. and then i thought i'd become really good and join wnba someday. but i turned gay and decided that my basketball dreams will have to take the side lines because it's way funner watching the guys play.

2. i thought that toys actually move when i turn out the lights and go to bed. i was obsessed to prove that i was right, i put in all my toys around my bed [so they wake me up when they want to play] but found them neatly on the shelves when morning came. i thought that that proved my theory only to find out that my brother hates what i'm doing so he packs all my toys as soon as i doze off.

3. i put mayo in corned beef and adobo. it's yummy, i swear!

4. i like to scratch anything itchy and make it bleed so i would stop scratching.

5. when i was ten or nine, i had this notebook where i wrote short stories and made my own illustrations. i thought i'd publish it one day until i can't remember where i put it. i was so shattered i never wanted to write a storybook again.

6. no matter how much i deny it, i think fairy tales are the best invention for cure of boredom. i love fairy tales... every other day. that's why i love love disney, they make everything magical.

7. stalking is the best past time in the world. when i was in high school, i could fill out a whole slum book about my crush without me ever having to talk to him. i guess the habit grew on me because until college i found so many interesting things about my "prospect of the month," being fed with necessary, volunteered information.  yes,

sinabsolution

, hello! :)

8. before the gay, kikay interior i now have, i was into a lot of, erm, "dark" things [but not fully gothic, that's too much for me] like heavy metal music, grunge rock, a lot of black, silver bling blings, messy, unkempt dos. luckily i never had suicidal tendencies, i just dabbled into a lot of morbid and creepy things. before emo was, i am. hehe.

9. i am a big fan of greek... everything! from literature to culture to geography to food to language to greek men, hehe. i haven't really gotten around to studying more about it, but when i do, that would be one big dream checked off my list.

10. contrary to popular belief, i am not friendly. i don't make friends easily and as much as possible i refuse to take the initiative. if i really, really like someone to be my friend, i don't approach that person. i make sure someone else introduces us first. but i'm a keeper. if i have made a friend, it's for keeps in its truest sense.

now i'm tagging... *drum roll*

rominaiza

,

sinister_vision

,

hellobebe

,

orange_stardust

, pie and jiar.

because this is what doting fans do

yeahbah my oh-so-favorite

hellobebe

for this video with my oh-so-favorite

pinggoy

in the world. iamsuchafanthankyoubow.

click me!
or not...hmmm, wonder watisap.

funny how they should be portraying the sordid tale that is my lurvelife [or lack of it thereof]... oo na, given i wasn't really the inspiration for this pero bakit ba gusto ko magdrama eh. ganun talaga pag may mga heart shwarla, kala mo lahat ng bagay eh patama sayo. huwag nang umangal. moment to ng mga favorites ko. nyahahaha.

i don't like callalily, for the record. yun lang. bow.

i love love thursday!

charing!

chirang!

yehey, finally after ten billion years, i shall show you my baguio, erm, escapade [using that word gives me the creeps, dunno why].

see? me and pine tree almost equals baguio. and and and, i get to wear pink and bandannas and layered clothes... it's not something you can do on a daily basis in hot hot manila so this is such a relief for me.

i went to klite right after i "parked" my stuff at home [yeah, i have a home in baguio, how cool is that?] and found the reason why i need to stay in for good, haha. meet hadi. the seventeen-year-old half-arabian, half-egyptian, half-filipino [yes, he's "three halves" haha, that kid's so adorable.] he's training for interactive, great timing i had, huh. bad trip ngay coz he called me "ate xaris!" rawr. ayos ba yun? plus he's such a bubbly, charming dude who is "humerous" [give him a break, he's still a kid]... and erm, spelling-challenged [thanks jerry, for pointing that out].

meet my love. choco-vanilla affair at volante's is LURVE. i can't do it justice if i start describing how this dessert satiates the palate with a mix of hot and cold gastronomic delight. nyeh. i had two in less than a two-hour interval. rawr. volante is love [diba diba?] i didn't mind having to wait for a seat since it was jampacked when we got there. [sabi sanyo, marami talagang tao sa session, kadiri, haha.]

welcome to john hay! i was on tourist mode and i just had to john hay myself. oh rawr, barok.
i guess it's one of those places i've never really bothered to go to except for random picnics with my friends or if stalking required me to be there, nyahahaha. but chyeah, it welcomed me just the same. lookie pine trees!

and there's burnham lake. yuckie i know. but i found out that the lake is only three feet deep 

so it isn't too deadly. what would kill you if the boat would capsize is the, erm, not nice things that can be found down under. congratulate me, i didn't scream... much. and there were these tourists who bumped into our boat [expertly driven by manong togs, hehe] and this girl from the other boat was all, "oh my gad [sabay irap]" in a tacky bonnet and tacky clothes. so i go, "eew, jologs. and it's not oh my gad, it's oh my gawd." erm, i just had to tell you.

well... i have a lot more pictures here, so go on ahead and take a look. don't forget to comment or leave insults [coz i pretty much do that to other accounts, nyahaha]. tara na byahe tayo!

last day, boohoo

flames to dust... lovers to friends... why do all good things come to an end? -nellie furtado

the station that sounds, erm, looks like no other

welcome to k-lite in bloom. i dropped in late with carmela, uh, i was nervous. yeah like you'd better believe it.

it was so kewld mehn. meet my crush. hehe.

turista!

yaan mo na.

the return of the comeback.

these people are love. my family in baguio who embraced me and loved my kakikayan and kaartehang very hard. who call me ate xai and text k-lite's textline to announce inanities and hear me plug it. yup.

kids who ransack our home to spend the night knowing that we can be bribed with food and talk.

someday soon, i'll earn a living through blogging

snagged form

sinabsolution

.

Leave a comment here and I'll...

1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with a song / movie.
3. Tell a random fact about you.
4. Tell a first memory about you.
5. Associate you with an animal / fruit.
6. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
7. In return, you must post this in your own LJ.

::::::: (",) :::::::
i am currently addicted to happyslip! i want to do what she does but i'm afraid i'd be too shy and i have everything against stealing concepts. call it plagiarism memo [the half sheets they pass around every semester] overdose. if there's anything i learned in school, that would be it.

her sketches are so funny i can't stop quoting her. "eew, speanuts, eew."  i absolutely love her humor. plus she's so pretty. and really talented.

sunday swingin'

just how much longer can i hold on to being idealistic? and how much "bragging rights" have i taken out of my four years stay at the country's premiere state university? how long can i resist being lured [or duped] into getting aboard the call center wagon?

why i think i want it:
1. it pays big time.
2. i think i would fit in.
3. did i mention it pays big time?

why i know i don't want it:
1. because i did not slave away for a communications diploma to be insulted by irate callers.
2. because the country did not pay for my tuition just so i can amass great wealth for myself.
3. because i hate graveyard shifts.
4. because i don't want to do what everyone else is doing.
5. because i'm too scared of people. hah?
6. because i hate americans. hehe, biro lang.
7. because i'm too mayabang for my own good.
8. because i said i'd never be caught dead working for one. *gulp*
9. because i said i'd never work for money.

but but but it pays big time!

i have lost it. it's not that i have anything against working in that kind of atmosphere. my problem is that i want to work in a call center because i want instant gratification translated to oodles and oodles of moolah. it's a sad day when i decide to throw away everything i've believed in just for money. i guess this is rooted from calculating without God. He promised he'd provide but selfish me needs to get things her way.

one can never have enough. and if i suddenly turn to call centers to satisfy my want for moolah, then i would know that i have been eaten by the system governing the world. and it's something i've tried to avoid as long as i can remember.  the whole point of my wanting to be different will be completely meaningless if this day comes. my whole existence will be utterly pointless because that meant i threw God's sovereignty in my life out the window.

and that's a lot scarier than being poor.

::::::: (",) ::::::::
i had this massive crush on a guy when i was in high school. like really big. and for some reason, i dreamed about him in full length, meaning, there was a clear plot in my reverie and a smooth flow of transitions and scenes. i must have napped for about five hours.

the strange thing is that i haven't thought about the guy for the longest time. hullo, high school was a lifetime ago. but every time i dream of him, it happens on the same setting: the high school gym. and then he always comes up to me and i always, always found insults to throw at him. the dream me always shuts up after the insult then the dream sequence ends.but this time, we actually had a meaningful conversation. and it was so real i woke up smiling.

maybe a part of me still has not gotten over my crush. i guess he's one of the good things that happened to me in high school. and he will never know. [haha cheesy cliche, yes.]
happy week one and all!

ohyou'dbetterbelieveiwanttosavethempoorpolarbears

this is my plan for the week [since it's the v-week and all that jazz]:

1. read love stories [you know the sweet valley kinds of no-brainer american teen romance pocket books] and load up on chick lits.

2. stock our refrigirator with loads of ice cream reserved only for moi.

3. make cards for my family and friends with a save the polar bears campaign [i am so not done with it].

4. volunteer for a charity thing so i can spread the love in a different way.

5. set the world record for the lovapaloozer 2007 [oh, i think i already did this].

6. send love letters to all my ex crushes. oh wait, that's a bit impossible considering i have ten billion ex crushes.

7. convince my friends to send me a "secret admirer" bouquet of stargazers.

8. hate cupid more.

9. ask my girl friends for a night out [that is if they're not planning anything special for the night].

10. pester my dada to take me out for dinner because i'm sure momsy thinks it all too cheesy. haha. or ask any member of my family out to dinner or make them dinner or eat all their dinner hahahaha.

11. or practice shooting with them airsoft peeps and accidentally-on-purpose shoot the cutest unattached dude within range.

what do you suggest?

whatgivesyoutheideathati'mabitteroldhagjustbecauseihatevalentines?

Tick tock to Valentines Day is five more days. All I have is five more days of finding me that eternally elusive prince charming. I do declare, prince charming is gay!

Call me the valentine scrooge. Bah humbug all the lovey dovey shiz. A few more years of this, I might become the valentine grinch and I will steal all the heartsy fartsy red letter, cupid, flowery hullabaloo that valentines is. Thank my lucky stars, I have more compassion than bitterness. Oh please believe it.

I have nothing against v-day. I do have everything against making it a singles-awareness day. Christmas, you can always spend with family and friends so nobody really can say they are lonely. Birthdays, ditto. But v-day? If you’re unattached, you either spend it alone, with other single friends or… mostly alone. I have everything against people who use this day to commercialize romance and love. What the heck is the deal with lovapalooza plus all the valentine concerts that lovebirds use as an excuse to get together? Doing this leaves out the unpaired, absolutely wonderful people. *raises hand like an eager grade school kid* Rawr.

And like what Myka [my sister’s friend] says, all the warmth and heat of Valentines Day can cause dire effects on the planet. Read: global warming. Polar ice caps shall go a-melting and imagine the aftermath of that. “Save the polar bears!”

Why am I bothering to do this? Because.

Let me be the first to extend warm greetings from the heart for February 14… Save the Polar bears!

eugene's fans club 2007

cupcake, applepie and lollipop make great sweets and treats. hurray for the years! :)

because i miss this

This is a bad combination: a full moon and me on PMS [duhr, it stands for post girl thing]. Just imagine how highly unstable I am these days. Lunatic and hormonal. Oh yeah, it’s to die for. My weirdness scale has tipped considerably towards the danger zone that I can hear warning sirens on my head.

::::::: (",) :::::::

I have been waiting for Deal or no Deal to contact me. I want to join that blasted money contest primarily because I want to be seen on TV. And sure, take home big money. And I mean BIG money. Something tells me I will win millions. Haha.

::::::: (",) :::::::

Lately, I find myself engaged in conversations with random, unsuspecting people. Like the manong jeepney driver who told me sob stories about his family. He sends his eldest child to college and two more kids to high school. And his only means of income is jeepney driving. He then lamented on how crudo is too expensive and how the LRT killed his business and how extremely unjust it is that he has to meet a boundary and all that’s left of him is a measly two hundred bucks which he has to split for his kids’ allowance and meals for a day. And that sweet manong, bless his soul, did not want me to pay my fare because “gagarahe na [siya], daan na lang [ako] sa pwede [kong] sakayan.”

Indeed, count your blessings. My thoughts on that on another day. 

And when I hear stories from other people I have come to know or talk with, parang pang-Maalaala Mo Kaya. And then I think about how blessed I am even when my life is not perfect. I mean, my only hang up is how to be a star while the rest of the world is struggling to live and make a living.

I always tell myself that I want to be famous para makatulong sa mahihirap [it’s nicer in tagalong. at oo yan talaga ang dahilan]. And today, I have never been more sure that I really, truly, madly, deeply want that.

GTreat!

even GT's need a break. why ba?

ishma burthday 2006

i turned twenny one, it's my debut, so we had to partay! :)

my last breha open house

open house= everyone gets to see your dorm room and you make them believe that you are the neatest person on the planet. i'm so glad it lasts only a day.

random camwhoring

there are days when you have to do this.