Friday, November 16, 2007

good morning sunshine

maybe i'm not real. maybe the stuff i'm made of is part imagination and part whim. maybe nothing that has happened to me really did. maybe i'm making up stories about myself as i go along.

i wish i have a save button to press every time i experience something because i can't tell which things really happened apart from what i imagined. and as far as remembrances go, my room is too full of receipts and papers waiting to be scrap booked. i can't find time to sit through that so for now, they will have to nest varmins, which for all i know have crept into my sleeping quarters aka room. it's not that i think i'm living a fast-paced existence thus the pressure and the need to rest. in fact, i feel like i'm moving too slowly, too sheltered. and the 'real world' doesn't scare me as much. i think the concept is too over rated. reality is this, reality is that. oh don't we all know what real is. what is real to me is the fact that my real doesn't compare to anyone's real. and my real works for me.

isn't this where psychosis starts? *gulps*

maybe i will give this 'life' thing a chance. who knows? it can be my real too.

::::::: (",) :::::::
when thoughts and sentences run in your head simultaneously, how do you screen which is the more pressing issue to address? will you understand me when i say hkhdaon d yaodhjaldj yljfaljsagapen hlahsehjlw because i have the words mixed up and overlapping? of course not. i'm not even asking you to understand that. yet.

8 comments:

Cindy ♥ said...

Haha, you're philosophizing (sp?) ew.

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

gosh cindy, i dunno what it's called. i refer to it as 'episodes.' i scare me. haha.

Celeste Lumasac said...

"i can't tell which things really happened apart from what i imagined."
same here xai. i think we mix the reality and make-believe up because that's what we wanted/wish to happen. what's happening to you (us) is not that common but i guess it's normal for thinking people. :-) embrace it because it's one of the things that sets you apart from the rest who go through life unaware whether they are living the life they really want to live.

romina aiza de silva said...

ayan,,, nabasa ko na but isn't it too mixed up na parang you don't know how your life is going now? you said that you're not pressured but why can't you find time to have your own "siesta" moment. siesta with yourself only. i tell you, you might get tired in your so-called world.

just a piece of advice. :D

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

hay mother tetet, that is very comforting. thanks. x)

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

thanks. but my world works for me. x)
i have a lot of "moments" with myself (ves), there's really nothing to worry about. that's how star people really are, hahaha.

romina aiza de silva said...

ako.... i want to go out of pressure... i want to sleep all day... watch tv all day... be in the church all day.. bonding with the youth group in church all day... watch tv all day...

♪ the xaris ♪ Cullen Boyd said...

trite is the word.