transitions

the xaris is a corporate brat.

i threw a tantrum yesterday because i did not get the planner i wanted. i raised my voice at my supervisor because she was not paying attention to me. i interrupted the sales meeting because i felt like doing an impersonation.

i update my friendster and blog and play solitaire when the company email/website is taking too long to respond. i spin around in my swivel chair and roll to different tables when i'm bored. i talk a lot. sing a lot. make noises a lot. when somebody points that out, i throw another tantrum.

all the while i am trying to be grown up; to be an adult who duly pays her taxes and comes to work on time. but there are just days that you feel that life is unfair for throwing you out into the real world too fast, too soon. i am grateful that the first transition phase came easy for me; that i never had a hard time looking for a job and i mean it literally. i never went company-hopping, resume-floating, or ayala/ortigas/makati-strolling to land a decent paying work. i thought that was the end of the student-workforce transition.

i'm in the middle of crossing over from a generic brat to i don't know. they say i have to be a grown up whatever that means. but i refuse to be a thirty-year-old adult when i'm only twenny one. there will be times when i will definitely act up intentionally or otherwise because that's what twenty-one-year-olds do.  i'm new at this. nobody should expect me to know precisely what to do in any given situation. i won't be hard on myself because i am making room for mistakes. because i know i am entitled to making them. [haha]

someday, i'll get over being childish or childlike, whatever you call it.  and someday, i will have to make only a few mistakes [and that's assuming i learn from them now]. someday still, i will tell a twenty-year old what to do and there's only one thing i can tell that [un]fortunate kid: pace yourself.

my officemates are giving me dagger looks now for blogging. i smile.