I easily cried in the morning.
In the afternoon I was feeling much better.
When evening came, I was really happy.
In the afternoon I was feeling much better.
When evening came, I was really happy.
And my best friends are the reason why.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
It's 1:54pm and I'm melancholic
Articulation fails me today. Pretend all the sentences are bullet points.
There's never been a day as of late when my aloneness sunk in as much as now. I am feeling the sting of having NBSB. My friends are there but they can never understand where I am coming from and I really do not expect them to. They have lives of their own and I respect that.
Sometimes even your best friends cannot be instantly there when you need them and there is no option but to cry alone.
Crying alone is not the best idea when you're in a public place. Luckily, our showroom's counter is high and I can hide behind it whenever I feel the tears erupting.
I swear I cannot thread my thoughts together in a single piece. Maybe I really can't write.
Knowing that I can't please everybody doesn't change the fact that I still want to. I remember having a hate text during my short radio stint and there is nothing that would console me not even the countless appreciation and affirmation coming from friends and strangers. Why was I so caught up with that single i-hate-you comment. It still saddens me when people hate me or when I think they do. I guess I care after all. There has got to be something wrong with wanting to please everyone but that doesn't stop me from wishing I do.
I believed I was destined for greatness. I let opportunities pass by because I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I stumble onto it. What other excuses can I make?
Friendster is peaceful. There's very little damage you can do with it so I genuinely treasure all the testimonials on my profile page.
I read comments back from 2003 to 2005 and see a different version of myself through my friends' eyes. I reacquainted with a xaris who's so fabulous she sounded like she can do anything. Her friends thought the world of her. Even one-time acquaintances have something nice to say about her. She's so cool, I want to be just like her. Somewhere along the road, I lost that xaris. She's the xaris who loves God so much and all her thoughts centered on Him. She truly loved people and saw the best in them. She had mean streaks but people took that lovingly. She's honest and she's over-dressed. She sings. She knew the songs stars sing.
I am (was) all these things that run through my head. I cannot talk about it. I cannot write about it. I cannot communicate my heart so eloquently.
Days later I will laugh at this entry and delete it, who knows.
I rest in the comfort that God knows exactly where I am right now.
There's never been a day as of late when my aloneness sunk in as much as now. I am feeling the sting of having NBSB. My friends are there but they can never understand where I am coming from and I really do not expect them to. They have lives of their own and I respect that.
Sometimes even your best friends cannot be instantly there when you need them and there is no option but to cry alone.
Crying alone is not the best idea when you're in a public place. Luckily, our showroom's counter is high and I can hide behind it whenever I feel the tears erupting.
I swear I cannot thread my thoughts together in a single piece. Maybe I really can't write.
Knowing that I can't please everybody doesn't change the fact that I still want to. I remember having a hate text during my short radio stint and there is nothing that would console me not even the countless appreciation and affirmation coming from friends and strangers. Why was I so caught up with that single i-hate-you comment. It still saddens me when people hate me or when I think they do. I guess I care after all. There has got to be something wrong with wanting to please everyone but that doesn't stop me from wishing I do.
I believed I was destined for greatness. I let opportunities pass by because I'm afraid of what's going to happen when I stumble onto it. What other excuses can I make?
Friendster is peaceful. There's very little damage you can do with it so I genuinely treasure all the testimonials on my profile page.
I read comments back from 2003 to 2005 and see a different version of myself through my friends' eyes. I reacquainted with a xaris who's so fabulous she sounded like she can do anything. Her friends thought the world of her. Even one-time acquaintances have something nice to say about her. She's so cool, I want to be just like her. Somewhere along the road, I lost that xaris. She's the xaris who loves God so much and all her thoughts centered on Him. She truly loved people and saw the best in them. She had mean streaks but people took that lovingly. She's honest and she's over-dressed. She sings. She knew the songs stars sing.
I am (was) all these things that run through my head. I cannot talk about it. I cannot write about it. I cannot communicate my heart so eloquently.
Days later I will laugh at this entry and delete it, who knows.
I rest in the comfort that God knows exactly where I am right now.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
And Again I Say Valentine's is Overrated
When was the last time I wrote about love?
I cannot remember simply because I have not thought about it in a very long time. I think about Piolo and crushes but that hardly constitutes the gut-wrenching, more-than-butterfly-feeling, hard core, I-give-my-undying-devotion-to-you kind of love. The kind that cannot be described, that which not even Shakespeare can thoroughly write about.
Why do we have to single out one day, one measly 24-hour in a 365-day calendar? And for that matter, why do mortals bank on the mush and gush representation of love?
I believe every individual is entitled on how to feel and how to express love as they know it. Forgive me for wishing that we come from a single perspective in all these things. But what do I know, I have yet to fully uncover the treasures and secrets of the great four-letter word.
Pfft. Who gives a cow anyway? V-day was yesterday and I spent it with strangers loading off on free food. I still say that if we give so much effort to meet a lover's expectations on the 14th of February, we ought to think of it and accomplish it all year round.
Happy birthday Brandon Boyd! Maybe you can tell me what love is.
I cannot remember simply because I have not thought about it in a very long time. I think about Piolo and crushes but that hardly constitutes the gut-wrenching, more-than-butterfly-feeling, hard core, I-give-my-undying-devotion-to-you kind of love. The kind that cannot be described, that which not even Shakespeare can thoroughly write about.
Why do we have to single out one day, one measly 24-hour in a 365-day calendar? And for that matter, why do mortals bank on the mush and gush representation of love?
I believe every individual is entitled on how to feel and how to express love as they know it. Forgive me for wishing that we come from a single perspective in all these things. But what do I know, I have yet to fully uncover the treasures and secrets of the great four-letter word.
Pfft. Who gives a cow anyway? V-day was yesterday and I spent it with strangers loading off on free food. I still say that if we give so much effort to meet a lover's expectations on the 14th of February, we ought to think of it and accomplish it all year round.
Happy birthday Brandon Boyd! Maybe you can tell me what love is.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
check the fax kasi
Spare yourself the drama, girl.
But I can't! Waaaah!
The only thing that stood in the way of me finally meeting Piolo Pascual is me! We were offered to cater for the press con of Lovers in Paris which was today. I would have rallied the management for a yes but no, I wasn't aware of the fax transmittal.
Why didn't I check the fax machine? Whyyyyyyyy?
But I can't! Waaaah!
The only thing that stood in the way of me finally meeting Piolo Pascual is me! We were offered to cater for the press con of Lovers in Paris which was today. I would have rallied the management for a yes but no, I wasn't aware of the fax transmittal.
Why didn't I check the fax machine? Whyyyyyyyy?
Saturday, February 07, 2009
random random blah blah blah
I have done the tag three times already...
random 1.
random 2.
random 3.
...in variations.
Let's see how far I can stretch myself to sound interesting.
1. I can sing One Step Closer in Rockband and get 100% on the Easy Level, 97% on the Medium. I'm too much of a wimp to try Hard and Expert.
2. I have never tried smoking. Not once. Not hold a lit cigarette to my mouth, not even light one. Not even think about it. Wait, I did think about it when I was four.
3. My first doll was named Hobby. She was a rag doll with an old rose dress, mousy brown strings of hair and pink shoes. My big brother tore her up to get back at me.
4. My kuya and I almost killed each other. Seriously. But we're best friends.
5. I have only had two cell phone numbers since 1999.
6. My dream car was, is, and always will be a yellow green vintage convertible beetle.
7. I seriously believed the powers of back-masking.
8. When Magic the Gathering wasn't even popular in the Philippines, my brother and I played it. Actually, he let me hold the cards and play with himself because all my 'moves are stupid.'
9. I was in sixth grade when I decided English will be the medium of my speech.
10. My first Bible was my mom's concordance. It was falling apart but I liked it because it had pictures.
11. In my primary years (grades one through three), I was a Stanford tambay because my best friend Marie lived behind COD. The Marikina Shoe Expo was our playground.
12. I was born on a full moon.
13. Napapakilig ako at five years old ni Romnick Sarmienta at Sheryl Cruz sa Young Love Sweet Love. I met Romnick last Sunday. Same effect.
14. Oh yes, I am jologzzzz.
15. I have seen all the movies of Piolo Pascual. Even the ones I had no idea he was in. Yes, including the cameos.
16. CS Lewis is my very best friend.
17. I have been drinking coffee since I was nine. Actually, it started with mocha but that still counts as coffee.
18. I was almost not cum laude.
19. When I was younger, I can sing On My Own (Les Misrables) flawlessly. Nobody but the shower head heard it. When I performed it for classmates, it was all so random, it could be easily forgotten.
20. I'm running out of things to say.
21. I never want to break up with anyone so I'm taking my time in that aspect.
22. Just now I tried singing On My Own again.
23. I seriously believed that I will be sikat one day. Believed. Past tense. There are some things one has to outgrow.
24. I'm a star girl. Don't ask.
25. Xaris and Xai are different personas. Xaris is the evil twin.
That wasn't so bad.
Tag, you're it. Leave a comment or else.
random 1.
random 2.
random 3.
...in variations.
Let's see how far I can stretch myself to sound interesting.
1. I can sing One Step Closer in Rockband and get 100% on the Easy Level, 97% on the Medium. I'm too much of a wimp to try Hard and Expert.
2. I have never tried smoking. Not once. Not hold a lit cigarette to my mouth, not even light one. Not even think about it. Wait, I did think about it when I was four.
3. My first doll was named Hobby. She was a rag doll with an old rose dress, mousy brown strings of hair and pink shoes. My big brother tore her up to get back at me.
4. My kuya and I almost killed each other. Seriously. But we're best friends.
5. I have only had two cell phone numbers since 1999.
6. My dream car was, is, and always will be a yellow green vintage convertible beetle.
7. I seriously believed the powers of back-masking.
8. When Magic the Gathering wasn't even popular in the Philippines, my brother and I played it. Actually, he let me hold the cards and play with himself because all my 'moves are stupid.'
9. I was in sixth grade when I decided English will be the medium of my speech.
10. My first Bible was my mom's concordance. It was falling apart but I liked it because it had pictures.
11. In my primary years (grades one through three), I was a Stanford tambay because my best friend Marie lived behind COD. The Marikina Shoe Expo was our playground.
12. I was born on a full moon.
13. Napapakilig ako at five years old ni Romnick Sarmienta at Sheryl Cruz sa Young Love Sweet Love. I met Romnick last Sunday. Same effect.
14. Oh yes, I am jologzzzz.
15. I have seen all the movies of Piolo Pascual. Even the ones I had no idea he was in. Yes, including the cameos.
16. CS Lewis is my very best friend.
17. I have been drinking coffee since I was nine. Actually, it started with mocha but that still counts as coffee.
18. I was almost not cum laude.
19. When I was younger, I can sing On My Own (Les Misrables) flawlessly. Nobody but the shower head heard it. When I performed it for classmates, it was all so random, it could be easily forgotten.
20. I'm running out of things to say.
21. I never want to break up with anyone so I'm taking my time in that aspect.
22. Just now I tried singing On My Own again.
23. I seriously believed that I will be sikat one day. Believed. Past tense. There are some things one has to outgrow.
24. I'm a star girl. Don't ask.
25. Xaris and Xai are different personas. Xaris is the evil twin.
That wasn't so bad.
Tag, you're it. Leave a comment or else.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
To Whom It May Concern
It's 2:03 and I have to be up at 6:00 to get ready for work. Instead of retiring, I'm writing you a letter.
I like pesto very much. Please take me to Volante when I get there.
Have a nice day.
Toodles!
Xai
I like pesto very much. Please take me to Volante when I get there.
Have a nice day.
Toodles!
Xai
You... yes!
I don't know why I even had second thoughts in coming to this KC get tog.
Attendance:
Ate Reena who's going to Qatar any time soon to earn big moneys so she can support Zyla as a staff, hahaha. :D
Kuya Jun, the missiologist (missionary yun) who advised ate reena to marry a non-believer so she can share the gospel. Joke lang daw. Ows.
Kuya LJ, who had a sprain from playing basketball (wawa naman may tungkod).
Zuriel, the ATS mastering person who lives on the other street.
Ate Sherry, the SGV accountant who gave us the lowdown on the market, hehe.
Yanyan who came all the way from Pasay despite the late hour.
Paolo na malapit na ikasal, ayee.
Kuya Caesar, the almost-pilot who came in really, really late. Bakit kaya, may tinataguan?
And moi, Xai again after a very long time.
There was spiked sinigang, fruit salad and ice cream. I say spiked kasi para kaming mga high sa kakatawa. Laugh trip talaga hanggang umaga. :P Kwentuhang KC, career and work life pati pag-aasawa! Kaloka talaga. Matatanda na sila. x)
Hello KC mates, wish you were here.
Photo credits from Kuya LJ. Napaka useless ng camera ko, walang battery.
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