Friday, October 17, 2008

ugh




I'd like to dedicate this song to you.
You pretentious little twit, you.

DEEP DOWN
Josh Verdes

Some girls they want a Mr. Sensitive
Some girls they want a Mr. Funnyman
But you, you just want a personal slave oh

Can't get a hug or a simple kiss
Unless, he gets you another gift
And all the while he's been blinded by beauty it seems

You're so care free but don't forget
That what you sow is what you reap
So when your heart is broken in two
You will know how I felt when I fell for you yeah

Deep down I know what's really inside of you
You think, the world revolves around you
Well guess what got new get a clue
Cuz it's not gonna work on me

Deep down I know you think you're invincible
You got beauty but only where it's visible
Well guess what got news get a clue
Cuz it's not gonna work on me

They see the look upon your pretty face
And that's all that always ever seems to take
But I can really see that beauty really is a beast oh

I know that you look into the mirror
Why can't you see?
Right through your fake exterior
It blinded me
Things aren't always as they appear

Appear to be but
I'm glad my vision's much clearer now


Monday, October 13, 2008

one bleak, emo-filled weekend...




... they decide to meet.

meet my college best friends.

stephanie ann, the gawjus photoshop-ing genius from fontana.
arriane, the budding brilliant reporter from sunstar pampanga.
maria rosario, the pretty and petite gma project coordinator.

we all pretend we're mortals.
x)


post-processed by stephanie.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

the star named xaris

the pleiades

When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
 the moon and the stars,
  which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?
Psalm 8:3-4

THE STAR(S)
Every time I see stars, I feel God's closeness as if He is physically right beside me. And every time I look up and see them twinkle, He reveals something and I know He is smiling down on me.

Stars hold a special place in my heart. When I lived in Baguio (where the skies are way clearer), I'd sneak out into my dorm's veranda to find a comfortable spot where I can sit, stare at the sky, and spend quality time with my Maker. Sometimes when I'd get home way past the late permit, I'd walk to my empty school and lay down at the Oble grounds just to gaze at the stars. Something about stars make me better appreciate the presence of the Lord.

There hasn't been any star sighting for me lately. Perhaps because of the rainy season or because I haven't really looked up. I was at a stage where I did not feel God's presence. I prayed that He would reveal Himself to me once again in the way I understood it. I felt I needed to see stars.

On Sunday in church, we watched a video called Indescribable and I just got reminded of how awesome the universe is. The images from outer space reinforce how mind-boggling God's version of distance is (measuring 'proximities' through billions of light years! I'd usually stop counting at ten, harhar) and just how amazing his version of art and beauty is! I gaped and oohed and aahed at the pictures Louie Giglio flashed on the screen. I was so awed at how vast the universe is that this tiny blue marble I happen to live in is but an inconsequential spec in the humongous painting God has out there.

I wish I have better descriptive words to give you. I am at a loss of adjectives at the moment.

NAMED. How right the psalmist was when he said each star was put in place by the hand of God.

God did not only put the stars in their place, He knows them by name. The God who holds all constellations breathed them into being and is pleased by them. Truly the splendor and the mystery that is the known and the unknown universe are made by Him for Him. How kind the Lord is to give us glimpses of His majesty.

All creation boasts of God's splendor for only a Maker as magnificent as He can cause magnificence in all things.

And I am named as well. He knows my name. And not just my name, He knows everything that runs through my head even before I myself  know it. He says my name beautifully (and he definitely does not mispronounce it) because I am twice owned: by creation and by redemption by His grace.

XARIS means grace. A good gift that causes joy to everyone who receives it. It was very timely watching Indescribable. Again God showed me His ways and thoughts are definitely waaaay higher than mine. I call it grace.

Who am I that God is mindful of me? He painstakingly put the mitochondria in my cells and He meticulously threaded my parents' genetic make-up together to form me. He has a perfect count of all the hairs in my head (even those that Pantene cannot preserve). He made my DNA so unique that there will never be another the xaris ever ever ever.

How awesome God is!

The same God who spoke creation into being is the same one, true God who whispers to me and says, 'I love you, dear Xaris' repeatedly even when I least deserve it (and I never really did deserve it). And by this grace, I become a new creation just like the Bible says.

Isn't it grace how we can even get a glimpse of such wondrous splendor our minds cannot grasp or understand? It's grace that God shared our human frailties even when He could have spent time adoring plenty other beautiful things. I would often wonder out loud why the Lord even bothered to go so low as to become human just so He can take all our sins and extend royalty to us. He had special things going on for Him; why would He step down? Why should a Holy God be nailed to a cross, made to endure all suffering and know all along that the xaris He'd die for would grow up to be a moody, whacked mean girl who judged other people as a habit? Why did God bother? I look up and see one twinkling star and get the answer. God's glory.

*

He made all these things for His delight, for His glory. He made the stars and the universe for His delight. He made me for His delight. He extended grace to me for His delight. If this is so,  shouldn't I be doing what the stars are made to do? Declare God's glory by being the new creation that He caused me to be.

It will take a while but I am confident that God's light will reflect on me so that I may shine like the stars who declare His glory.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

the xaris guide to impeccable taglish

1. use the present form of the verb (in english) with the prefix nag-.
example: Nag-tour kami sa Intramuros yesterday. (not nag-toured...)
Nag-confirm na ba yung client? (not nag-confirmed)

2. use the present form of the verb (when used as a noun in sense) with the prefix nakaka-.
ex.: Nakaka-bore talaga yung movie, eew.
Hindi ba nakaka-annoy yung manong sa jeep?

3. repeat the first syllable of a word when expressing a verb as a noun (gerund phrase?)*.
ex.: Mag-re-repeat na naman ba siya?
I-e-employ niya rin pala eh.

4. use make/made/making (depeding on the tense) before a tagalog pandiwa (kung di mo talaga ma-identify yung english term).
ex: Let's make padala na the sulat.
I think he will make abala the meeting.

5. don't make tusok-tusok the fishball. (kung di ka rin lang kolehiyala. haha.)

6. use 'like' liberally.

7. try to avoid using 'me' in place of 'ako' or 'you' in place of 'ka.' (it's so whatever yaya you're such a loser)
ex.: [eep!] dito na me, where na u?
[pwede na] here nako, where ka?

8. add -um- in between the first letter (if the first letter is consonant) and the first syllable of an english word and add the whole word after when expressing a continuous action. If the first letter is a vowel, add um- before the first letter and repeat the word.
ex.: R-um-e-revolve naman ang sun sa earth ah.
Ang galing, ume-elevate yung paper!
Circulate= cumi-circulate
Evaporate= ume-evaporate

9. huwag niyo 'ko isumbong sa mga english teachers ko.

10. kung mali sa pandinig, malamang mali nga.



*ayan, nagdudunung dunungan kasi. matulog ka na, iha. maaga ka pa bukas.